Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
