i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's a Shit stain on my heart
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
