1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
