YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
