Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
