are you still at the devil's house?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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