do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
