I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
