dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
COCAINE IS GR8
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
