Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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