Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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