Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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