Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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