I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Small penises have feelings too.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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