Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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