i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
