Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
