hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
