He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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