If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
