Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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