Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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