dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
