dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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