went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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