The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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