two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
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Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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