The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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