I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
