Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
