Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
