I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
