Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.