worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize