Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
