Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
