You smell like a Billy Joel song
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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