I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
