I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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