Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
