can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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