I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
