I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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