I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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