She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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