Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
