Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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