I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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