It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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