We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
