Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
