i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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