everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My vagina is officially offended.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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