I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
